I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Everyone says I win the strip club
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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