i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
