If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
