im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
