We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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