i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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