yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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