I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
