i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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