a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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