I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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