You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
