new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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