ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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