Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
