she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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