I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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