Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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