I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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