I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
