youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize