at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize