I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
