you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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