i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
