Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
