I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
