I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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