she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
