She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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