I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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