As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
