honey bunches of taint.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
