I just saw a hot homeless man
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize