I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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