Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
