I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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