So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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