No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
