awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
