I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
