Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize