As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
