At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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