He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
