Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
