can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
