I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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