On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
