Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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