How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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