Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
