is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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