sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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