So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
