I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
